Ask Ed
by LiLiKun18
Summary: Got a question for Edward Elric? THE Fullmetal Alchemist? Just leave him a question and he'll do his best to answer it! However idiotic the answer may be!
1. Info

Yeah...Hello...I'm Edward Elric...

So the point of this thing is that...if you have any questions for me...all answer them...WAIT A MINUTE

**LiLi: What is it?**

You just expect me to answer any question these guys throw at me?

**Basically!**

I hate my job...Ok so yeah...leave a comment in the comment box, and I, EDWARD ELRIC, will do my bes to answer the question. Is that all? Am I finished now?

**I don't know that seemed kind of short...**

WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE CAN'T EVEN RIGHT A LONG STORY!

**Aww! Ed your so cute!**

Whatever, just leave me a comment OK?

**THANK YOU VERY MUCH! ^^**


	2. Update 1

Ed: Alright, so here is our first edition.

_**Lili: So note, that I will be trying to update this every Friday, so everyone has a week to ask there questions.**_

**So are you ready Eddy?**

Lets just get this over with.

* * *

_Question: 1/ Akira Elric_

_Hi Ed! You're so cute! My first question is what are your real feelings for  
Winry? Why do dogs love you so much? Plus i dare to say... Why are you so  
short?

* * *

_Akira,

First of all, I AM NOT CUTE! I AM A HIGHLY RESPECTED STATE ALCHEMIST WHO SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH!

**And your also pretty cute! ^/^**

SHUT UP!

My real feelings for Winry? *blushes* well I mean she's my childhood friend just like family, heh heh

_I like dogs? I guess there Ok, but I think you have me confused with the Colonel. I'm sure everyone as heard his *ahem* Speech, about dogs. I guess I like dogs because they're much more active then cats. Alphonse is definitely a cat person. _

I AM NOT SHORT! And why the heck does everyone assume there's some kind of reason behind it?

**It's because you don't drink milk.**

NO! It's probably stupid Winry's fault for not making it lighter.

**Partnered with the lack of calcium.**

**Urghhh... Alright then Akira I hope this has helped you in some way, *sighs* lets move on to the next question.**

* * *

_Question: 2/ Mythika_

_(haha, good idea i have to say first 3 :'D !)_

_um, dear ed: why do you hate milk so much? 8D_

_did something happen between you and milk? xDD _

**

* * *

Well thank you Mythika!**

Mythika,

I hate milk because it tastes like vomit! Ok? I've been over this. It's just so nasty! Bleh

**So you weren't trampled by a cow at any point in your life?**

What? NO! I hate working with you!

Ok Mythika, thanks for the question.

**Please feel free to ask more.**_

* * *

_Question: 3/Doughnutwithsprinkels

_Hello, Edo! xD_

_My question is, if you'd got stuck on an island for a month, no alchemy_  
_allowed, with MUSTANG, what would you do? :D (sounds familiar, right?)_

_I don't think I've seen any other fics like this, so, update soon! It looks_  
_interesting :3

* * *

_Well Hello Doughnut,

What would I do? Thats simple.

I doubt that Mustang has ever had any survival training quite like mine. It would be simple to take charge, if he followed my orders we would both make it out alive. If not, well I guess that means more food for me. If he got especially annoying I could always tie him to a tree.

**Thats kind of mean sounding**

Well thats how survival of the fittest works.

**Thanks for the question Doughnut, I laughed really hard when I read it! **_

* * *

Question: 4/OhJay_

_Alright then ^_^ Before I start I just want you to know that I'm the same  
height as you so I feel all you're pain Ed. Anyway, we're all well aware of  
your...Height sensitivity and rants, and I just want to know what you would do  
if someone actually called you one of those. For example let's say someone  
comes up to you and says "Hey Ed you're so short a sneeze can blow you away  
and you can drown in a single water molecule"_

* * *

Ohjay,

WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT A PIPSQUEAK LIKE YOU COULD SYMPATHIZE WITH HIS HEIGHT!

**Now Ed, lets be nice to the people who ask questions, especially Ohjay since she writes lots of very nice stories**

I DON'T HAVE HEIGHT SENSITIVITY BECAUSE I'M NOT SHORT!

**Actually Ed, Your so short, I could stick you in a cookie jar, and you could escape through the spaces in the lid.**

WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE NEEDS A STEP LADDER TO CLIMB THE STAIRS!

**Well, there you have it OhJay, he would do nothing differently at all!**

Wait? You called me short to prove that?

**ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION!

* * *

**_Question: 5/emiopsfanfics_

_Mr. Elric, is it? When did you hit puberty and would you do Pinako? Those  
aren't weird questions are they?__

* * *

..._

**...**

Do I have to answer this one...

**I guess so...**

I umm...*ahem* haven't hit puberty yet...

NO

and Yes that is a weird question.

**Ok then...lets move on...

* * *

**_Question: 6/ strawberrypocky-chan_

_so we can ask anything?_

* * *

**Yes! Any and all questions!**

Did that really need to be on here?

**Yeah, of course it did, it was a question right? ^^

* * *

****Well Thank You To Everyone who left a question, and feel free to leave more! ^^**


	3. SUPER BIG APOLOGY

**Guys, I am posting a very big Apology on here,**

**I am leaving for about three weeks, and during that time I won't be able to post a new update.**

**I tried to finishe the next chapter but in the end I didn't have enough time T.T**

**GOMENASAI!  
**

Ed: Yeah you better Gomenasai! You screwed up big time!

**Please continue to comment, and I will have this story done as soon as I get back PROMISE!**

**Thanks alot to everyone who asked questions**


	4. Update 2

**OK I AM BACK!**

We're both back!

******AND ARE WE READY TO POST? **

No...

**WELL TO BAD LETS GET GOING!**

**

* * *

**

_1/mary _

_why do you yell stupid stuff at people when they call you short or something  
similar?_

_**

* * *

**_I don't know it's a natural reflex!_**  
**_

******It does make you look stupid**_**  
**_

YOUR MOM LOOKS STUPID! Moving on.

**

* * *

**_2/Bakura-Chan_

_Hey Ed :) I have a few questions for you... hope you don't mind._

_Who is your favorite homunculus? What's your favorite song? Do you like  
chocolate?_

_**

* * *

**_

I like Lust...cause she was some what good...  
I like the song Brajta...and all other songs I like are from Amestris so you've never heard of them.  
I like Dark Chocolate but not Milk Chocolate.

**Maybe that's why your so bitter.**

Yeah that's real funny...

**LOL**

**

* * *

**_3/Doughnutwithsprinkels_

_Hi again Ed._

_Have you ever wondered how all of this peoples know so much about you? Like,_  
_that you hate milk, and that you know Winry and that you are NOT small?_

* * *

Nope, after living my life, you learn just to go with it and not ask questions, you'd be suprised how well it works.

* * *

_4/SoinyMariaRose_

_Hah~ This is cute. =3 I think I'll give it a shot:_

_Why the crap did you have to grow to be the same freaking height as me at the_  
_end of the Manga? D_

_Oh, and a more realistic question~_

_Why did your proposal to Winry at the end of the Manga have to be so dorky? XD_

_

* * *

_I'll grow as much as I wanna grow thank you very much!

I didn't think it was that dorky

**That was a proposal?**

Well...yeah...

**But there wasn't a ring or anything?**

SHUT UP! THAT IS JUST HOW I ROLL OK!

* * *

_5/The Forseer of Avalon_

_ok question for ed:_

_ok how come our hair is almost the exact same length? and not even that_  
_somethime I wear it in a braid! Who's the copycat Ed?_

* * *

umm...I've never even met you...so how am I the copycat?

* * *

_6/Pumpkin2Face_

_Stay strong Edward I feel your short pain. I am shorter then my younger sister  
and often mistaken for being the younger sibling._

__

Onto the question!

_You, Mustang, and Alphonse are locked in a room for a week with no alchemy,  
one bullet, and a lifetime supply of twinkies. What is the outcome?_

_**

* * *

**_

Simple! Mustang takes the bullet and me and Al split the Twinkies!

All's well that ends well!_  
_

**Poor Mustang...**

I feel no Sympathy

* * *

_7/zwart wit_

_Hey, Edward shorty XD, let unleash our imagination!_

_what if you and Al forced to life with Envy in the same house as a BROTHER?_  
_what will become your everyday life?_

* * *

First of all, I will transmute your head through a blender if you ever call me shorty again!

**Edward! Don't threaten these people! They're taking time out of their busy schedules to ask you questions!**

I don't care!

**Pay him no mind gentle reader, on to the question.**

Easy, I'd lock envy in a closet and pretend nothing ever happened.

**I think that might eventually develop into a problem,**

How so?

**Your not very good at this whole answering question business are you?**

Ughh... Fine! Here's a better answer! I would probably just ignore Envy, I mean I don't actually think of him as a brother or anything.

**Hopefully that's more of what you were looking for, thanks again! ^^**

**

* * *

**_8/BrokenWind234_

_Ohoh! sounds..I mean, looks interesting! Can I join?_

_uh..._

_question #1: where do you get all those..uhm..'who-are-you-calling-so-short'_  
_lines?_

_#2: are you addicted to red?_

_#3: I forgot but...how old are you again?_

_#4: don't get offended please! but..do you even do something to get_  
_'taller'?(we all know your awesome, but I'm just curious!)_

_#5: *sweatdrop* What's your reaction to those...yaoi pairings that includes_  
_you?(RoyxEd, EnvyxEd, etc)_

_#6:Why do you hate Hohenheim?_

_last question for now:_

_If you can go back in time when your Mom is still alive what will you do?_

_I dunno if the questions are clear or not but...there, finish. Thanks for_  
_creating this whole thing LiLiKun18!(and also to Ed I guess?)_

* * *

1. I don't really know, I think they might stem from all those arguments that I get into with Pinako.

2. No, I like black stuff too! Notice all the leather?

**Where do you get all this stuff anyway?**

Uhhh...Moving On!

3. Actually I forgot too...

**15-16... Somewhere in there**

4. I don't need to do anything because I'm not short!

5. Gross!

**I like them...**

...

**What!**

You disgust me...

6. Cause he's a -*censored for explicit swearing, foul analogies, and words that give angels seizures* Thats why!

7. I'm not sure what I would do, nothing I did or said would change the future. I might just have a conversation with her without letting her know who I was.

**Thanks for the compliment! I really appreciate it**

*cough* Big Ego!

**What was that?**

Nothing!

* * *

_9/Mythika_

_ED! XD_

_do you think you're sexy? :D_

_and.. would you mind if we ask extremely embarrassing questions? TwT_

_

* * *

_Of course! Look at how freakin sexy I am! *rips off shirt*

**I think twelve fangirls just imploded.**

**Yeah but try to keep the questions PG13. I know we all find Edward to be a very easy target for perverted thoughts, but let's keep it clean. For the general public.**

E-easy target?

**You did just rip your shirt off...**

0/0 Excuse me while I go make a new shirt.

* * *

_10/Akira Elric_

_Im sorry for calling you short ED! Im 15 and I'm only 5 feet tall :(_

_Anyway my question is why are you so cute!I mean I could just eat you up!But i_  
_do like the older hotter ed..._

_Other question why is Izumi so strict with you, do you see her as a mother_  
_figure?_

* * *

I am not cute! I am manly!

Stop making cute faces!

No way! What on earth is motherly about that woman! All she does is freaking scream and kill people! That would be one scary mother!

**And yet I can see a small resemblance**

SHUT UP!

* * *

_11/BlackHayate13_

_Hey, Yeah, Ed._

_You /Are/ short. But, people like me have a thing for that sort of thing._  
_Frankly, being next to a guy that was far too taller then me would probably_  
_make me uncomfortable due to the fact that i'm insanely short for my age, Now,_  
_Onto my question and skipping the awkwardness._

_How does it feel to have a brother that all the women that you ** off will_  
_probably go to because they don't want to deal with such a hot-head that would_  
_only shorten their own temper, and go for your brother who is actually much_  
_sweeter and more sensitive then you._

_I mean, c'mon..._

_He /loves/ /kittens/! You /cannot/ beat that._

_Probably /only/ with your hair. Which i will murder you myself if you chop_  
_off. So, again, how does it feel to have a brother like that? -innocent_  
_giggle/smile- Oh! Yeah, and tell him to re-grow his hair. *hangs head* thats_  
_one of the things that i can't avoid adoring. *weep*_

* * *

Moving on to the next question-

**No Ed! You have to answer this one too!**

Urghhhhhhhhhh! I like my brother! And he can go hang with however many girlies he wants! AND I AM NOT SHORT! *goes and sits in a corner and mumbles*

**Hmm... Maybe it's my Edo Fangirlness speaking, but I always though Ed was cuter. Maybe it's cause I always pictured him as one of those tiny Kitten things that's actually evil on the inside and I went "Aww"**

WHO ARE YOU CALLIN SO TINY HE MAKES TEENAGE MIDGETS GO AWW!

* * *

_12/emiopsfanfics_

_haha I'm sorry for my previous questions...What, can't a girl have fun...?_  
_Anyway, my new question is - If you and Winry switched bodies for a day what_  
_would you do and why? What do you think Winry would do? :)_

* * *

Mess my automail up, she'd be all excited and she'd start hacking away at it with her stupid wrench!

* * *

_13/OhJay_

_So Ed...Since there are a lot of Yaoi pairings (which I hate) out in the_  
_fanbase and most of themhave you in them, which one do you find most_  
_disturbing and want to kill the people who came up with it?_

* * *

Armstrong/Elric! I swear to god that one scares me!

**Though not all that unlikely...**

Stop being a stupid yaoi fan!

**I can't help it! I like yaoi! It's cute!**

I think you need to redefine exactly what "cute" is.

* * *

_14/I ain't sellin_

_this maybe a sick question to ask but here it is, what would u do if winry_  
_cought u masterbaiting and u were calling her name while doing it?_

* * *

We already said it! Enough with all the nasty questions!

**Umm...well Edward what would you do?**

0.o I DONT KNOW!

* * *

_15/RenCC123_

_ Well i am begging to know,_

_What do you think of the following:royed,elricest,edvy,edwin_

_i've read a lot of stuff about these and don't know what to believe _

* * *

**I LOVE IT!**

I hate it, and that's that!

**Even EdXWin?**

Yes...Even EdXWin

**Why?**

BECAUSE I AM FREAKING 15 AND I DON'T LOVE ANYONE YET!

**Jeez...Whatever you say Ed...**

* * *

**Well that was a long one!**

No kidding, I'm exhausted.

**Remember Kiddies, keep the questions PG13 from now on! If I find anything thats to gross I'm not gonna post it.**

And you will cause me Naseua

**Noboy likes a Sick Edward.**

**OK that's all folks! See ya next time ^^**


	5. Update 3

**Hey everybody! How goes it?**

It appears we have now added a new installment to this sad excuse of a fanfiction...

**ED! Don't be such a downer! You'll depress the readers!**

*sigh* Whatever, lets just get this over with...

**

* * *

**

_1/OhJay_

_So Ed, you said you hate milk, and I recall at some point in the series you said something about not wanting to drink something that came out of a cow, so what about soy milk? Or maybe flavored milk?  
_

_**

* * *

**_Just because Zima isn't real Zebra Urine, it still tastes the same! So there's virtually no appeal!

**Did we really need to use Zima as an example? I thought you were underaged anyway?**

You get the point! Moving On.

**

* * *

**_2/Plumalchemyst_

_Don't tease me but I am 4'10 shorter than you I believe ed anyway I like milk but I don't think it helps you grow as stated with my height anyway would you eat an extra gooey slice of cheese pizza.  
_

_**

* * *

**_

Uhh...sure?

**Actually I looked it up. Cow milk is actually bad for you (since it's intended for baby cows, not humans) it influences cancer, and while it strengthens the Calcium in your bones encouraging height growth, a persons height depends mainly on genetics and no amount of calcium consumption will affect your height drastically.**

I KNEW THAT STUFF WAS SICK!

**I guess this means there is no way to fix your height defect...**

Really! The short jokes, they grow old.

**

* * *

**_3/emiopsfanfics_

_Ok new question. If I paid Al, Roy, and you 2,000 dollars each, would you guys put on black body suits and dance to Beyonce's song "Single Ladies"? (like that prick Joe Jonas did.)_

_PS I can't hardly wait for the new chapter!  
_

* * *

No

**Even for 2,000 dollars?**

I wouldn't do it. There's no way I'd let Al do it. And Roy Mustang wouldn't do it either.

**But it's 2,000 dollars.**

First of all, I have my research funds so I'm rich as it is. Secondly, Emiopsfanfics even have 2,000 dollars?

**I guess you got a good point...Plus you're cooler than Joe Jonas**

**But you're shorter than Justin Bieber!**

T.T

* * *

_4/I aint' sellin_

_if u & winry got married where would u go on ur honeymoon?  
_

_

* * *

_**What's with all the "If's" I thought you and Winry were married?**

Quiet you! Uh...I don't know, I don't have the attention span to pick out a honey moon destination, we'd probably just go somewhere close.

**How un-romantic...**

What you got a problem with that!

**Really, the EdXWinry fans give you to much credit.**

I SAID SHUT UP!

* * *

_5/ Doughnutwithsprinkles_

_This is great! You make the anwsers so damn funny!  
_

* * *

That's not a question...

**Or is it? BUM BUM BUMMMMMMM!**

...What?...

* * *

_6/ 101FallingRock_

_hola Ed! so why didnt we see you return Winrys earings in the sereis? okay thats it for now bye!  
_

_**

* * *

**_

Oh those things? I trashed those! Do you know how gross all those piercings are? She's better of without them.

**Ed that's stealing**

SHE'S THE ONE WHO GAVE THEM TO ME! BLAME HER!

* * *

_7/Kuronekoxx_

_IHi ed! :D I have a disturbing question. Are you madly in love with your brother like everyone saya? Lmfao  
_

* * *

**Of course he is! End of question. Moving on!**

HEY WAIT A SECOND!

**Nope! Too late!**

* * *

_8/SoinyMariaRose_

_MUWAHAHA, THIS IS FUN. x3_

__

Seriously, though... I feel sorry for you, Ed. XD A fifteen year old getting bombed with so many perverted minds~ Course I'm perverted myself, but I know when to keep it quiet! (no offense, people)

I WILL MAKE SURE YOU WON'T GROW ANYMORE, THEN.

I have to agree with you, though... MILK IS DISGUSTING. [/shudder]

Next questioooonnn:

Well, there's actually two...

1. Do you think that there are sane people in the FMA fanbase?

2. Would you let Al have a cat when he gets his body back? It's the least you could do!

_Guess that's all for now. For a stubborn fifteen year old, you still rule, Ed! Keep on kicking butt!  
_

* * *

1. If the writers not sane, I doubt the fans are.

2. No, we still are travelling around and he knows we don't have the means to care for it.

**Come on Ed! We all know you love him...**

Well of course I- STOP IT YOU FREAK!

* * *

_9/Pumpkin2Face_

_The answer you had to my question made me laugh so hard I nearly cried, which is what made my sis come over._

__

My little sis: Oooh! What are you reading?

Me: An ask Edward story

My little sis: Oh that small idiotic boy with a man braid from that dumb manga you read?

Me: *sob* yes

My little sis: Ask him why he has a stupid girly hairstyle and why he doesn't just leave and let his much TALLER, cuter, better brother to run the manga.

Me: ED! I'm sorry for my rude younger sister!

_My little sis: And on your way out take that stupid flame guy with you.  
_

_

* * *

_...

**Ed are you Ok?**

W-Why is your sister so mean? *sobs*

**Umm...Wow...**

I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE CRITICISM! I MAY AS WELL JUST STOP EXISTING *sobs*

**Aww Ed Don't say that...**

WHY CAN'T FANS JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I NEVER WANTED TO BE AN ANIME CHARACTER! I JUST NEEDED THE MONEY TO SUPPORT MY DYING GRANDMOTHER! WHY CAN'T YOU ALL UNDERSTAND THAT! WHY! *sobs*

**Ok I know we've had a long day, so why don't we take a few deep breaths and finish the last few questions...**

*sniff* O-Okay...

* * *

_10/ peace-love-and-monkeys_

_Hi Ed!youre awsome and please say hi to Al for me! my question is if you could only eat one type of junk food for the rest of your life, what would it be?  
_

* * *

I don't know...How about popcorn?

**Why Popcorn?**

It's about the most nutritious junk food there is...so Popcorn

**Ok...**

* * *

_11/BlackHayate13_

_NO EDWARD._

__

I DO DEMAND, YOU /DO/ LOVE WINRY.

STOP DENYING IT.

IT MAKES ME ANGRY.

I MEAN, YOU'RE GOING THROUGH PUBERTY AS IT IS. (Yes, i am saying you're growing, about a centimeter an episode, and by the end, you're a freakin' giant)

SO GO LOVE WINRY.

Ahem, Excuse me.

I get very personal about that.

How would you react if someone was talking to Winry. (And by someone, i mean a boy. And a cute one, just to make this harder on your imagination) and you over heard him call her "Win" which, if i'm correct, is your personal nick-name for her. What would you do?

And another question, How do you feel about Vic Mignogna, and if you don't know who he is, LOOK HIM UP! I'm sure you'd want to know, and i want to know your feeling about him.

*nod* And you better answer me.

_*Holds up knife* I'm going to be a chef when i grow up, and chopping is my personal specialty at the moment, don't try to run Edward. *spins knife in hand* I'm a damn good driver. ( Oh video games, *coughcough*)  
_

* * *

Both: Shivering together in a corner...

**Ed I'm scared of the WED fan with a knife...**

Uh...*gulp* Win? Where'd you get that from?

**Yeah thats the first time I've heard of it too...**

Well anyway, Winry can hang out with whomever she pleases, and if that just so happens to be some teenage pretty boy dirt bag with no sense of style and an ugly hair cut and-

**Ed you're breaking your automail...**

SHUT UP!

Vic's cool...at least he's not some little girl like Romi Paku

**I like Romi Paku! Her singing is better than Vic's!**

You'd feel different if you were a male with her voice...

* * *

_12/xxedxwinryxx_

_tee hee hmmm a question a question...well right now i cant think of one right now which sucks! but dont worry ed when i do itll be so silly and pointless youll youllwant to use a wrench to knock me out...tho i hope not cuz those things look like they hurt...any way my sis has a question.._

_sis: if you were being put on a deserted island and were allowed to take only one thing with you what would it be?  
_

* * *

A boat. Next question...

* * *

_13/I aint' sellin_

_sorry bout my last question but i'm 7 months pregnant and i'm bored. but my question is if u and winry got married and had kids what would their names be?  
_

* * *

**You're having a baby? Aww good for you! ^^ I hope it goes well. Make sure you don't invite Ed over anytime soon, otherwise bad things will ensue.**

THAT WAS ONLY ONE TIME!

I don't know what I'd name them...Hmmm...lets see...

**Edna and Allie**

Ha Ha...Not funny...

Maybe somethin like Casimiir or Anne Marie? I like old sounding names...

**At least you're not naming them after chemicals, I'd hate to be named Sodium...**

Shut Up! I'm not that big a nerd.

* * *

14/RenCC123

_Okay,i am sorry Ed,but you and Winry are soulmates!_

__

1)if your,and winry's parents never left and died do your life would've been better?

2)Since Maes is dead do you think of Roy as your father figure?you act like him.

3)what short rant have you used them most,your favorite?

_4)if you met ichigo from bleach what would you do?if you havent seen bleach just know he's really tall compared to little ole sexy you-_-'(whispers to self'i hope sexy calmed him down from the short comment')  
_

* * *

1. **Boring...**

WHAT! No! It would've been happy

**And Boring. If the Parents had stuck around there wouldn't have been a Fullmetal Alchemist manga to begin with and this fanfiction wouldn't exist.**

Well maybe thats a good thing

**I no you didn't!**

2. NO I DON'T!

**Yes you do. You're always imitating his cool looks.**

Urghh! Well I don't think of him like that!

**Oh...You think of him...like that?**

NO!

3. Probably, "Don't Call Me Short." Because it's quick and easy to remember

4. **Ed beats Ichigo...I'm sorry but Ichigo boring, all he ever does is run around trying to save girls. It gets boring after a while...**

If I met him I'd probably ignore him.

**LOL I'd like to see that ^^**

* * *

**Well that's it.**

Can I sleep now?

**Everyone Keep commenting, and we'll be back next weekend!**

Bye, **Bye!**

**3**

**OK that's all folks! See ya next time ^^**


	6. Update 4

**BACK AGAIN BACK AGAIN!**

Whoopdee do...

**Lighten up shortie**

SHORTIE!

**Here we go!**

**

* * *

**

_1/Doughnutwithsprinkles_

_Hi Ed._

__

Do you know if Mustang likes cupcakes?

_:D  
_

_**

* * *

**_Uh...I dunno, he loves dogs. You should ask him about this.

**OMG I FEEL A SEQUEL COMIN ON!**

**

* * *

**_2/Ree-Vance_

_ I love this storry! Oh i have ten Q's._

__

1. Are a masochist?

2. Would you ever kiss winry?

3. What's ur boy's name?

4. what would you do If you saw Winry being kissed by Roy?

5. Would you rather kiss Roy and have *Cesnored* with alex or drink a gallon of milk and makeout with winry?

6. Would you ever take advantage of a druhk Winry?

7. Cat or dog?

8. Al's body and your mom for ten pictures being sent out to your fangirls of you r singing barbie girl in a tutu WHILE PPERFORMING A YOAI FIC WITH ROY?

9. Afraid of fangirls? Like me, A rabid one with a nose for smexy loita boys? Ask Kaname {Er.. not loitla} and Negi ;}

10. Scenerio for when you and winry first did it?

_PLEASE ANSWER. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN ^-^  
_

_**

* * *

**_

O.O Ok umm...lets see...

1. No...I know I get myself into a lot of very painful situation, but trust me I don't enjoy it.

2. Uhh...sure?

**Now there's a surprise...**

Shut Up!

3. You mean my kid? Well seeing as how I'm fifteen and I haven't exactly met him yet and am relying on all the spoilers I find, I have no clue.

**Sad isn't it? Doesn't even know the name of his own child. *shakes head sadly***

4. ...Isn't he like...fifteen years older than her?

**It's hypothetical Ed...**

I'd probably...*gets dangerous evil look on face...*

**0.0**

5. Drink a gallon of milk...NOTHING is worse then the first option.

6. No that's immoral, What's with all these Winry questions? Seriously I know we like each other and all but are we really this entertaining to you people?

7. Cat

**Because of Al?**

Nah, It's cause Cats don't pee on your floor, and don't get all muddy.

8. *completely conflicted* Uh...Uh...I'D DO IT FOR AL! It seems easier then getting a stone anyway...

**I would totally pay to see that! XD**

9. Uhh...

**I LOVE RABID FANGIRLS! *starts thawing at the mouth***

I never wanted to be an alchemist *sigh*

10. I'm not answering that.

**How come?**

...

**Wait a second...Are you a-**

This question is over.

**

* * *

**_3/SoinyMariaRose_

Hm... guess you're right, Edward.

After all, your creator is a woman who draws herself as a cow with glasses. She is the genius of our time... = 3=

You're right about the fans being insane. :D LOL!

Moving on to my next question... have you ever pulled any pranks on Mustang?

(I.E., drawn on his face when he was sleeping)

* * *

Puh! Only all the time!

**It really is quite amazing**

There was this one time I got him to smack himself in the face, I it made beards grow XD CLASSIC!

***shakes head* Oh edward, what will we ever do with you?**

**

* * *

**

_4/BlackHayate13_

_... *middlefinger*_

__

Anyways. *headdesk* All of my questions are idiotic, and I got the "Win" thing from you actually saying it in the series/manga- Oh fuck it. *headdeskheaddesk* Nevermind. For a genius, you're a freakin' idiot.

_Also, Its not really a question, but are you honestly telling us that if Roy suddenly just... dropped dead, you wouldn't care at all? (And no, by caring i don't mean "Showing up to the funeral simply to dance on his grave and laugh")  
_

_

* * *

_Duh! Whats with the finger?

**We were kinda jerks in the last question.**

What! No we weren't!

**APOLOGIZE MR.**

You apologize!

**Both:** Gomenasai Black Hayate 13

**Aww! Don't Headesk we love you! *HUGS* **

**I don't read the manga so I've never heard that one. That's probably why.**

As for your question, uh... I dunno I guess I would kinda care. I might show up to his funeral for the free food. But seriously though, this is the Col. Were talkin about, if I even started to feel sorry for him, he'd show up and make some comment about me being short, so I've lost all empathy for him.

**I understand how you feel Ed. YOU AND ROY SHOULD GET MARRIED!**

STOP BEING A YAOI FAN!

* * *

_5/ RenCC123_

_Ed you and Roy act so much like eachother,deal with it!anyway i gots questions!_

__

1)ok,you were in a anime and manga,which ending do you prefer and why?

2)If all mustang,his subornanites,winry and al died what would you do?

3)you favorite song?

4)Who would you consider your best friend besides winry and you brother(you can't say alchemy)

_well dats 'bout the way bet you can't beat edward cullen!'0'  
_

* * *

1. I guess I like the Manga ending, just because it was more happy.

**I loved the anime ending more because It was less generic and wasn't as predictable, plus it moved me to more emotion.**

You just think it's cute when I suffer.

**What's wrong with that?**

2. D8

**I think that would be a suicidal moment...**

I would be so...lonely...

3. Happy Thoughts Museum...It's pretty much the coolest song ever.

4. I'd have to say...Alchemy.

**Read the question again Ed...**

Hmm...I'd have to say...Alchemy...

**Your doing that on purpose aren't you?**

FINE! I pick...Ling.

**Why Ling?**

I don't know he popped into my head.

***sigh* Whatever.**

**Oh and by the way...**

Hot men may glitter...

But true men make flowers fall from the sky. Just food for thought

**MAGIC FLOWERS!**

* * *

_6/ 101FallingRock_

_Ed do you find it odd that your japonese voice actress also played Toshiro Hitsugaya from Bleach who like you is a young prodigy and hates being called short? if so would you two get allong?  
_

_**

* * *

**_

Dude, me and Hitsugaya are pals, we laugh, talk, throw things at our ugly superiors. Sure it's a little creepy that I hear my voice every time he speaks, but at least I have someone who knows my pain! ^^

* * *

_7/stina006_

_Alrighty I'll ask some questions ^_^ looks fun!_

__

question 1.

Edo, If you and Kimbley switched bodies for one day like in Freaky Friday what would you do all day? and you can't hide anywhere :D *i had to ask, he's my favorite character3*

question 2.

Since Ling was considered your best friend, other than Alphonse, do you miss him now that he's in Xing as the Emperor? i know you call him 'closed-eyed-idiot' but deep down i bet you still care about him :)

question 3.

_What would you say to the original auther Hiromu Arakawa if you ever met her? other than "Why did you make me so short?"  
_

* * *

1. Easy! I'd go to Jail and then switch back!

**What is he'd killed your body?**

Will cross that bridge when we come to it.

2. Yeah I miss him a little bit, but he comes by every weekend and gives me free stuff to fill the void, so I'm ok.

**...**

Don't give me that look!

3. I'd say good work, she made a 108 chapter manga, I guess the woman does deserve a pat on the back.

* * *

_8/Pumpkin2Face_

_I'm so sorry Ed! *sob* really, I am..._

_Anywhooo...What's your favorite piece of 21st century technology?  
_

* * *

It's Ok, I was just havin a ruff day.

**No kidding, you went home and cried for an hour**

...):(

Anyway, cellphones, you have no Idea how useful they are. Just aske Hughes.

**If only he's had a cellphone...**

* * *

_9/Plumalchemyst_

_(at Lili) DON'T CALL ME SHORT I'LL BREAK OFF YOUR FEET AND STICK THEM ON YOUR HEAD_

_anyway Ed would you love to punch Colonel bastard if so here you go (throws a tied up Roy who is missing his gloves)  
_

_

* * *

_**Hey I didn't call you short!**

Shut up you bad person!

**Bad person?**

Ed: *punches Roy so hard his teeth fall out.

Ah! That was great!

**Hope that answers your question.**

* * *

_10/ susan_

_dear ed & the restof FMA cast,_

__

1 ed if you don't like drinking milk why don't you eat canelope or hoeydew mellon it has calcisum in it and it would help you. and no I'm not making fun of your height problem

some of my family are short also.

2,a friend of mine & I we did a" anime survivor" stuck on a island by email it was awesome

we had you , al , roy , riza hawkeye and some other amine charaters from differnt series. well we had condor joe ( gatchaman) well we had you as leader and roy as "the jerk" .

well he harassed riza to a point that condor joe took things into his own hands and tied roy to a tree & had him say he was sorry for being a jerk. ah but alas we had him kicked off the island for harassing a girl...LOL.

3. I read you like choclate... did you ever think of doing the milk with choclate insted you might like it so you won't barf? =')

I know you will grow with time so don't worry about it

winry: a little advice : don't keep hitting ed he can file crimenail charges agaist you for assault and battery. so don'thit him or you will end up in jail and grandma pinako will be very upset with you..

_please keep writing =') =')  
_

* * *

1. Yeah I eat them all the time, AND YET PEOPLE CONTINUE TO TAUNT ME!

2. Ok...I BET I WAS A FREAKIN AWESOME LEADER! lol Roy got kicked off XD

3. Eh, Choco milks Ok, but I'd rather not drink it.

YOU TELL UM WINRY!

* * *

_11/OhJay_

Aw man someone already took my question about naming kids...Alright then, they say that you get back what you did times three, and since you probably were a little trouble maker when you were a kid what are you gonna do if your kids are even worse? Also, did anything ever happen with Al and Mei? Did they get married too or anything?

* * *

Oh...Well I wasn't that bad, so they should be manageable.

**Yeah...but if you were super short as a kid, and you get three times what you were then.**

...

**Those poor children.**

I think that is what happened...I don't know for sure.

**Wow it's gonna be a family of very short children if Alphonse marries Mei...**

I'm starting to think we shouldn't breed.

* * *

_12/I ain't sellin_

_ed i am so bored, luck u. u get stuck talking to me! my questions are simple. 1. if mustang becomes furer and passes his mini skirt rule would u like it? 2. if i join the milatary would u hide from me? 3. would u freak out if i was moving right next to winry? visit me when my daughter is born?  
_

* * *

1. No i would not like it! That's degrading for a female.

**Eh, half of um all where miniskirts anyway.**

2. Uh...No?

3. No, Why would I be afraid of you?

**IDK She seems nice to me.**

That's just cause you like anyone who comments.

**True True...**

4. Sure why not, It would be a learning experience.

**I LOVE BABIES!**

**Good luck with the baby by the way! ^^**

* * *

_13/Akira Elric_

_Hey Ed, just for the record, i know your probally still hurt about 9/Pumpkin2Face evil sister said to you but i think your cuter than Al and Mustang! I also love your hair, though i think you look better with a ponytail. Any way my question is..._

__

What do you think about todays economy?

Do you like gummy worms?

Are you alergic to shellfish?

How tall are you?

Do you think Mustang looks like and idiot with a mustache?

_Whos better Iron man or Batman?  
_

* * *

Well thank you.

1. I think it sucks, I hate money as a whole.

2. Yes

3. No

4. Uh...5.2?

**One inch taller than me.**

S-serioulsy?

**But I'm a girl so I don't count.**

Ugh...

5. Yes, and he should shave...Idiot.

6. BATMAN! Cause he's cool and doesn't kill anyone.

**Even though Iron man has you're color them?**

...*eyetwitch*

* * *

14/Insanity4Apples

Hey Shorty! Wassup? *pats his head* Just kidding. i find you very tall for a hobbit.

1.) If you had to pick a yaoi pairing to be in, which would it be?

2.) What would you do if when your dad came back you found out he was a zombie and he tried to eat your brain?

3.) Am i the only one who found Rose EXTREMELY, POSITIVELY, ABSOLUTELY...*goes on and on for 5 hours* UNCONDITIONALLY, annoying? Just curious.*glares at the wall and loads a gun*

Thats all that came to me for now. Cya in the next chappie, Puny!

* * *

I'm...not...short...

1. ...uh...AlXEd

**Oh! Good Choice!**

LOOK! It's just so I don't have to end up getting hitched to a random stranger, plus Al would fake it with me so we wouldn't actually have to be in a relationship.

**Awww...**

2. Kill him, is that so hard?

3. **Nope, you are not alone!**

She was annoying, Ed this, Ed that, I didn't even like her.

**Both: *load their guns***

* * *

_15/Kuronekoxx_

_Hi Ed. Are you gay?

* * *

_

No.

**Not in the canon anyway.**

Be quiet you.

* * *

**All done!**

Yep, I'm ready for a nap.

**Keep commenting guys, and remember, next week there will be a special mysterious guest.**

Wait what?

**See ya then!**

HANG ON! WAIT!

**To be continued...**


	7. A sad story

**My Dear Friends**

**Today I worked for two hours, to give you the update you've been waiting for...**

**It deleted itself...**

***SOBS LIKE THERE IS NO TOMMOROW***

**I am so sorry, the update is going to take a little longer, please bare with me**


	8. Final Update

Authors Note:

TO ALL READERS,

It's been great, but unfortunately this story violates some of 's rules, and so it's going to have to come down.

This is going to be the last update.

I'm sorry! I hate to do this, we didn't even make it to the christmas special. T.T

Alright, well enjoy the last chapter of Ask Ed.

* * *

**Ok! It's been a long chapter with much sweat and tears, but we're BACK!**

...I hate you all...

**Come on Ed! Cheer up.**

No...

**Edward, stop being such a little snot and say hello.**

I'm not talking to any of them...*goes and sits in his emo corner*

**Sorry guys, he's just upset about our...*drumroll* SPECIAL GUEST!**

**Everybody say hello to ROY MUSTANG!**

Mustang: Good day my lovely fangirls! Kneel before me, and I'll grant you tiny miniskirts!

**...Ok then...**

WHY IS HE HERE!

**Because Armstrong was busy with his water aerobics class.**

Is it to late to quit!

**Yes, you're not a paid worker, you're an indentured servant.**

Eh! Since when!

**Since someone charged three thousand dollars for a kitten play set under your name.**

ALPHONSE!

**

* * *

**

_1/Plumalchemyst_

_HA THE BASTARD SHOULD HAVE NEVER TOLD ME TO WEAR A MINI SKIRT_

_Ed if I told you your mom come back if you chugged 8 galons of milk would you?  
_

_**

* * *

**_You know you love the miniskirt.

Shut it Roy, these questions are mine! Got it!

If it would bring her back I suppose I would, I mean yeah sure it would be gross but I could handle it.

**

* * *

**_2/SoinyMariaRose_

_I THOUGHT SO. Cause... I mean... he's just asking for it! MUWAHAHAHAHA. [/mad scientist laugh]_

__

Personally, I'd still his gloves... use them on him... fff... I'm a firetard, I swear.

Anyways-next question!

_What is the weirdest thing you've ever done to wrekc your automail?  
_

_**

* * *

**_

HEY! Only I get to wear the gloves.

**Yeah guys without them he's useless...**

STOP INTERUPTING!

Weirdest thing I've done to wreck it...uh...I don't remember...

OH! I REMEMBER! You stuck your tongue to it in the winter to see if it would stick and then you couldn't get it off so he had to take the arm off and saw it apart into pieces so we could save you.

W-WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM THAT!

You said you couldn't remember!

...*facepalm*

**

* * *

**_3/Pumpkin2Face_

Hahaha, my evil little sis got mentioned in someone else's question (Hi Akira Elric)

If you met the girl version of Al, what would your reaction be? Not just in personality, like a girl named Ally who spent four years in a suit of armor.

* * *

Wait a minute...ALPHONSE IS A BOY!

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!

**NO IT CAN'T BE TRUE! YOU CAN'T HAVE SUCH A HIGH PITCHED VOICE AND BE A DUDE!**

**(Note: This was my friends reaction to Alphonse)**

Well now knowing that my brother is a...boy...I guess it would just be one of those weird moments where your like, "wow...your just like my brother"

**I think that would be rather awkward...**

My brothers voice! That's whats awkward.

**

* * *

**

_4/FallingRock_

hola Ed once again! (oh crap that rymes!)

any way i have five questions:

1: so if you kinda parallel Hitsugaya, then who do you think Roy and Winry parallel in Bleach?

2: How would you feel if Fullmetal Alchemist was made into a live action film in Japan?

3:Did you notice that the colors in your regular outfit (red, white, and black) are also the Nazi colors? if so, do you find it ironic that in Conquerer of Shambala that you met members of the Nazi party?

4: So why didn't you say anything when Winry entered her room and was about to take her shirt off?

5: Oh crap! there was an earthquake right now! thats freaky! oh yeah, do you now consider Scar a friend?

Okay thats all i could think of.

* * *

1. I would be Ukitake!

I'm not even going to comment on that statement.

**Winry would be like...Tatsuki and Orhime combined or something...**

I thought she would be Hinamori?

**Nah, she's too violent and not crazy enough.**

2. That would be cool!

**No it wouldn't! **

Well they didn't ask you!

**But think about it Ed! You're darling anime self would be transformed into some weirdo with a blonde wig, and Alphonse would be reduced to computer graphics! The whole fan base would be forced to shift to Roy Mustang!**

DEAR GOD NO!

Well I like the Idea, lets go for it! 

3. Uh...*looks down at clothes* never really thought about it that way.

**I always thought yellow was apart of his color theme.**

Yeah, Nazi's don't have yellow.

I think you're missing the point.

4. **Yeah Ed! Why didn't you say anything.**

I was eating a sandwich...my mouth was full...

excuses...excuses...

SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!

5. **EARTH QUAKE! *dives under desk***

...Ok then...No, I think of him more as of an aquantince, I mean I haven't forgiven him completely for all the stuff he's done.

Puh! I have, you should see him at some of the parties throw! That guy can karaoke like you wouldn't believe!

And I was just wondering why I never go to work gatherings.

* * *

_5/ Doughnutwithsprinkles_

_Hi again Ed :D_

__

If you could pick between a car and a motorbike, what would you pick?

_And, do you know if Mustang has a motorbike :D ?  
_

* * *

MOTOR BIKE! That sounds awesome!

I don't need a motorbike, I have Hawkeye to drive me around.

**Like Ed, She is also an indentured servant.**

_6/ OhJay_

_Ooh a guest huh? Can't wait to see who it is. Ed you liar! Hair antenna and shoes don't count so you're 4'11 (3/4 of an inch shorter than me *Smirks*) and it looks like they're be more short people in your family to feel my pain! Anyway, onto some questions:_

__

1. What would you do if Al turned into that crazy old man with a bunch of cats?

2. What would you do if someone cut of you're hair antenna? (On purpose)

_3. What would you do if you sudden found yourself in the Lord of the Rings and found out that you were shorter than a hobbit? (I have proof! .com/gallery/#/d2p0rpo)  
_

_**

* * *

**_

1. Uh...Take care of him? Help him with his problems?

2. I WOULD STRANGLE THEM!

**Hey Ed? Where's your antenna?**

WHAT!

*snickers and hides scissors behind his back*

3. D8

Wha?

Eds shorter than hobbits!

I'd murder all the hobbits, then I'd be taller.

**Somehow I find that defeats the purpose.**

* * *

_7/Ree-Vance_

_EEE! i was so excited to read your answers. Gomen if it was a bit perverted. I was just curious ;3 {foams at mouth}_

__

Here my ten again~

1. I noticed that you are a good three inches taller than me to... ^^ (loads gun) Ep! not a question.. okay then.. what would you do if you saw me outside with a scythe and Winry? You have no weapons or alchemy and no help. ^^

2. Which is worse? Doing a RoyEd or watching Winry marry some other man. D':

3. You chose cats? Funny.. i thought you had a passionate hate about them... Reason?

4. How come you hate Mustang so much? and I want a real reason not like ' because he's a bastard' no you can't say anything like that. ^^

5. {I ain't sellin's question} would you like it if you and Winry worked together in the military ;3

6. Favorite outfit that Winry has worn?

7. HOW CAN YOU NOT'VE READ THE MANGA? YOU WERE IN IT! IT'S YOUR LIFE! :O {Looking back on it i may have made this up but i think you said you 'didn't read the manga' Gomen if i did ^^;}

8. sorry if i made you uncomfortable with all the EdWin q's. but when i read it you kept denying it. :3 Now for the next EdWin~ I noticed you said nothing is worse than the first one, well.. what if we add on this one? - Must watch Win get *censored* by Mustang and you can't look away or stop him then he makes you kill her afterwards? :3

9. Yes, yes u did. YOU DID WANT TO BE AN ALCHEMIST YOU LIAAAA! Hmph. And i have a question~ You cut her off last time but are you a virgin or sex-a-phobic? ;3 {Foams at mouth}

10. You are stranded on an island. To make peace with the natives they must witness you *cenoreed* one of the girls from the manga? Who do you choose and your method of *censored* her. ;33333 [yes, this is VERY entertaining to watch you squirm and suffer {:]

Nene, please answer or i will kill Winry. (holds up a tied up Winry)

and just for extra boost Al. (holds him up too)

Bonus question~~~

* I thought you loved money. In the first volume you tricked him for money and over the series i belive you had a fondness of it? care to explain? ;3

_See you next week! ;333  
_

* * *

1. Are you going to hurt Winry?

**I assume she's going to hurt Winry...**

Well...I don't know what I'd do...probably scream...or call for help...WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT!

I've been in a situation like that, I recommend bringing a large amount of banana's, and a sack of explosive hedgehogs...

...

**...**

Moving on...

2. o.0 Eh...Probably Roy Ed. I mean, either way I don't get Winry, so I might as well not get her without having to go all Shonenai

That hurts me Ed...

**Yeah! Me too! What do you have against ShonenAi?**

ENOUGH WITH THE YAOINESS!

3. Dogs pee on you

I LOVE DOGS!

4. Yeah Ed, what's your problem?

You want the reasons fine, He's a sexist, disgusting, manipulative, butt kissing, idiotic-

Don't forget Self Centered

...Yeah that too!

5. That would be cool I guess...I mean it be nice to see her more often since I hardly ever get to

6. Her normal outfit? I never pay that much attention to what she's wearing

**God Edward, it's a wonder you ever managed to find fangirls**

Come on Ed, you know you want to see her in a-

DON'T SAY IT!

I was only going to-

I SAID DON'T SAY IT!

Ok...Ok...

...

...

TINY MINISKIRT!

SON OF A-

7. Uh...Why haven't I read the manga...It's seems like the kind of thing I'd do...

**It's because your just an imitation Edward, that is a figment of my imagination...**

I'm...I'M NOT THE REAL EDWARD!

**Nope...**

Ha Ha! You're fake!

**You too Colonel**

D8

8. Well that ones worse...

Why would I even do that?

**Face it Roy, your not very popular with the Ed fans.**

Atleast I'm not the one writing sad lonely fanfics

**Atleast I'm real.**

9. D8...Uh...Uh...

**Edward...?**

LOOK I'M 15 YEARS OLD! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO JUST GO AND DO STUFF LIKE THAT!

**Aww...YOUR SO CUTE *hugggs***

Why me? If it weren't for the research funds, I would've quit alooooong time ago.

10. Uh...UH...Uh...

**Here, we'll just pick a name from a hat and see what we get.**

That sounds good,

Alright...Let's see Let's see Let's see...*draws name* ...Oliver Armstrong...

WHAT! QUICK PICK A BETTER ONE!

*draws another name* ...Roy Mustang's Foster mother...HEY WHY WAS THAT IN THERE!

Just...Just...Lets Just stop...

**Yeah...that might be good...**

*Bonus Question*

Try balancing a checkbook and then tell me how you like it, I may be a scientist, but I am no Mathematician

**Just like Einstein...No...wait...**

**

* * *

**

8/BlackHayate13

_ALRIGHT!_

__

DEEP. THOUGHTFUL EXPLANATION.

Because I decrypt every single message in FMA: Brotherhood, I've completely ignored the first series, actually.

Ed's actual feelings for Mustang (Ed, don't even try and comment, You know it's true): Though Mustang is a raging fucking asshole to Ed most of the time, I know he would care a lot if something happened to the little blond Alchemist. (No, I'm not referring to Yaoi, stfu.) Though it is playful, maybe far to much so, teasing, Roy probably just enjoys playing with the kid's head, but he wouldn't do anything to actually ever hurt him. In a way he's like a teasing father due to the fact that he's the only real father-figure in Ed's life, considering he hates his real father's guts and said actual father was never there in the first place. (Well, he was there, but only for five years of Ed's life.) Roy's seen him cry a hell of a lot more then Hohenheim ever did, and he's supposed to be the real father sitting there helping him through his issues, Roy tries. *shrug*

Alright. Referring to CoS (Fuck my life. ) when Edward had been sent to the "Parallel universe" of our world, Mustang was insanely depressed. This only proves that he felt that he blamed himself for what happened, because he couldn't be there to help him and he feels he should've been there to stop it. This would've been how a real father would've felt, but instead, Hohenheim was pretty much like "Oh, Hey... you're here... Righty then, Running off on you again, Tahtah!" Like the jackass he was in the first series. Roy never left a little hut somewhere in Briggs mountains because he was ashamed that he didn't do anything, Honestly, a real father would've probably felt the same and/or killed himself, Roy's just strong.

Eh. Thanks?

Anyways...

Yeah, My logic is painful. I wrote a whole two or three paragraphs trying to figure out how old Ed would've been at the end of Brotherhood. He would've been 27 or 28, and the year would've been 1926 or 1927. It was iffy because of the time-skip when Al's body was recovering and they spent time in the East/West, Oh yeah, and I had to add on five years for Ed and Winry's kids, which I myself never named. *shrug* Sorry you don't know your kid's names? Anyway. This is long.

Question, Question...

_Does any of this make sense? *points upward at paragraphs of BORINGBORINGBORING*  
_

* * *

You think of me...*sniff* as a parent?

What! No! That's just fan speculation!

Come on Son! Lets go play ball!

LEAVE ME ALONE!

* * *

_9/RenCC123_

_Ok,Edo,first off Winry's right,your an alchemy freak,and now my questions:_

_1)What are your nicknames for your 5 best friends?_

_2)if it wasn't for the whole philophys stone you think you and envy would be friends?_

_3)What is your thoughts on religon?_

4)ever hear of youtube?

* * *

1) IDk...uh...Win, Granny, Al, Colonel Bastard...Do I have a fifth friend?

**yeah it's me!**

the annoying writer...

**thanks ed...**

2) No...Never...HE KEEPS CALLING ME SHORT! THAT STUPID IDIOT! URGHH HE MAKES ME SO MAD!

**Aren't you forgetting the whole, murdered one of you're mentors fact?**

yeah that too!

3) To each their own, I don't care what you believe so long as you leave me be.

4) O.O...

NO! NEVER AGAIN! DEAR GOD! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**ROY HE'S HAVING A PANIC ATTACK!**

I'LL GET THE PAPER BAG!

* * *

_10/ BaddApple_

Hey Ed!

I have a couple questions:

1: What do you think about your fangirls "OCs"(orignal characters) and then pairing them up with...you? (Honestly I hate the EdXOC pairing)

2: If Alphonse...'Came out of the closet" to you what would to do?

3:If you were trapped in a room with 25 fangirls and forced to give them an article of clothing what would you give them?

4: If you have ever heard any of your Anime's opening songs, what would be your favorite?

* * *

1) Eh, If they're good and not stupid Mary sues I guess I don't care, It's just a bunch of fangirl fantasies to I don't really care.

2) Uh...well...I support my brother no matter what,

**Ed you're adorable!**

...Yeah just going to ignore that one entirely.

3. They can have the coat

**I WANT IT! *grabs coat and yanks it off***

GIVE THAT BACK YOU STUPID FAN!

4. Reraito, that ones the coolest, I looked so stoic and awesome...

Though not as much as me...

Whatever you say, but nothing beets that final walkin down the railroad moment.

**SO EPIC!**

* * *

_11/emiopsfanfics_

hey it's me! ...and I only have 1,000 dollars in my bank account... I'm a poor 15 year old! ...why do I hate the 2003 anime so much idk whispers Brotherhood and Arakawa ftw!* that was rhetorical anyway XD Is Alphonse there? May I ask him a question?

1. Al, what do you find attractive in a woman? (I wanted to ask him because he needs some love too.)

2. Ed, would you go to the store and buy feminine items for Winry. (Foreshadows next fanfic) XD

* * *

**1,000 dollars? That's more than I'd ever dream of making! ...All the cons I could go to...*fantasizing***

1. _**Hello, nice to see you...**_

_**I guess I like kind girls who are gentle and considerate of other's feelings.**_

1. NO! She can go buy her own stuff.

_**Brother! Don't be so grumpy**_

Yeah Ed, lighten up.

**Be a good person Ed**

WHY CAN'T I JUST LIVE WITH NORMAL PEOPLE!

* * *

_12/Insanity4Apples_

_You wanna play that way, shorty? fine._

__

yaoi pairing would you pick? no EdxAl and no faking. you HAVE TO "do it" with whatever man *snickers* you choose.

if someone tied you down and forced you to drink 50 gallons of milk?

would you do if the same person that forced you to drink milk called you short, shaved all your hair off, then sexually assulted you?

_Cya next time shorty.  
_

* * *

Ed...I I don't know! That's awful!

**Wait I thought Roy had done all of those things?**

Ha Ha yeah...good times ^^

YOU UGLY CRAPHEAD! *lunges*

**Oh! Alchemist fight! *pulls out popcorn* NOM NOM NOM**

* * *

_13/I ain't sellin_

_how much would you pay to see mustang in stripper heals and a mini skirt? if you do pay make sure to bring a camera, i love blackmail._

* * *

Why would anyone want to see that? I wouldn't pay.

**I WOULD! IMAGINE ALL THE VIEWS ON YOUTUBE!**

So wait...Paying causes Roy pain?

**Oh yes...lots of pain...**

I don't like where this conversation is going...

* * *

14/evemiliana

*has thinking face on* Toshiro and Ed have the same voice actor? YES! MY 2 FAVORITE ANIME CHARACTERS!

Okay,

#1. If There was this whole episode where everyone from Bleach came into the fullmetal alchemist anime, what would you do?

#2. Why do you wear a braid? When I first saw you I thought you were a girl until you started talking. Then I was like, "oops"

#3. Have you ever seen any of the fanart people draw of you? A lot of people like to picture you shirtless.

#4. Would you rather have to battle numerous perverted rabid fangirls, or get hit with a wrench by Winry 100 times?

That's all for now.

* * *

1. Quick um out! GO GET YOUR OWN SERIES LOSERS! Hitsugaya could stay though ^^

**Aww...poor Bleach...**

Ed and Roy: NO SYMPATHY!

2. Eh! I AM NOT A GIRL!

Could've fooled me...

IS THAT A CHALLENGE!

**Could've fooled me too**

I WEAR THE BRAID CAUSE IT'S AWESOME!

***cough* GIRLY!**

I hate you...

3. Well Duh! I got some abs!

Roy and LiLi:***inhales to say something***

If what you're about to say is Yaoi, I don't want to hear it.

**Roy and Lili: ***shuts mouths*

4. Wrench...Wrench's don't steal you're hair...

* * *

_15/Suboi_

_..._

__

*looks up from higurashi, zombie shop and umineko and many adult rated gore shows. and yaoi*

oh! started already? okay.. *takes of headphones playing evanesence's bleed and smiles sweetly*

anyway, lets start at the begining... my friends in school call me sulf. short for sulfur. short for sulfur dioxide. *is remembering the part where you said names like that were idiotic but is still smiling very sweetly and angelically*

my question for now is.. would you rather be

a)chained to roy (ie;deathnote style)in a frilly maid outfit with thigh high stockings and a skirt that would barely cover anything,

b)be chained to alex armstrong wearing leather straps.. alot of leather straps and only leather straps.. or

c)(here is your saving point. see? am i not such a nice sweet lovely girl? *still smiling angelically with glitter background*) be tied down pinyata style and used as a scapegoat in the same room where olivier, isumi, winry and hawkeye who are all very angry and under a particular time of the month that would make them very violent?

i wait your answer eagerly. *sweet angelic smile with glitter and sparkles background*

ps. you dont have to worry about the mass of tentacles behind you. they wont and dont want harm you... much. *sweet angelic smile with glitter and sparkles and roses in the background accompanied by soft fleeting pweety music*

_bye~~!_

_

* * *

_

Ed: D8

Wha-Wha...

**Wow...uh...Ok ED...what's your answer...**

C...pain beats...that...

I really need some mind soap now...

Well I guess we should move onto the next question- HOLY CRAP! *gets attacked by tentacles* SOMEBODY HELP ME!

**THE CRACKEN! IT'S BACK! SOMEBODY CALL DAVIE JONES!**

* * *

_16/Storm Uchiha_

_*hugs* I know your pain. My computer shut itself down in the middle of a chapter once._

__

Well here's some questions for Ed.

1. If you had managed to save Nina, would you keep her around like a little sister?

2. If you could have would you have brought Nina back to life? (Possibly with her dad as the equelvilant exchange?)

3. What would you do if I told you, that Al's become a ninja?

* * *

**Thanks for the love and understanding ^.^**

1. Yeah..totally...NINA WHY *bursts into tears*

2. No...You can't bring the dead back...WHY WHY WHY *sobs even more*

3. Good...for Al...?

**NINJA! AL IS AWESOME!

* * *

**

_17/CooperLover12_

_this is my name for sly cooper fic review i might change it to AnimeLover12_

__

HEY ED:D!YOU ARE MY FAVORITE ANIME CHARACTER BESIDES SESSHOMARU of inuyasha series and Lelouch of code geass series.i don't think your short at all i don't know why people say so:( i sympathise for you YOUR HOT!

OK Q&A

1)do you like the Sly Cooper game series(if you don't know who he is go to google or wiki)

2)not a question really but WHY DOES THE AUTHER LOVE YOAI?I READ A SLY/STARFOX CROSSOVER AND I WAS AFRAID TO SLEEP FOR A WEEK!*cowers in corner remembering traumatic things*

3)do you like Badboy by Cascada

4)have you ever wished you were a vampire or werewolf

5)if you never wished to be a vamp or were,why not

6)have you seen my maximum ride manga it went poof

7)do you like Maximum Ride books by James Patterson

8)have you ever wished like in maximum ride you hade wings to fly?I HAVE IT'D BE FUCKIN' AWESOME

Cooper(Anime)Lover12 out,BYES!answer my questions or i'll come shot you with my bow & arrow:)

* * *

1. Never heard of it, sorry

2. **We all have are tastes right? Frankly I think that manga writers don't spend anytime making good girl characters, so boys are all really cool and girls just aren't...plus 90% of anime dudes look like girls...so there really is no difference in my eyes...**

That 90% included you Ed...

SHUT UP!

3. It's ok I guess

4. No...I like being an alchemist.

**ME TOO!**

Your not an alchemist...your a writer...

**Right...**

5. Well...Why would I? Isn't it not really a good thing to be a vampire or werewolf?

6. No...

**No...**

I DID! THE CRACKEN HAS IT!

**THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!**

7. Yeah, they're pretty good

8. **That would be pretty awesome**

Ha Ha...Yeah it would...

* * *

**Alright guys...thats the last one guys...It's been great, and I'm glad I made this ^^**

Thanks alot guys, all of you

Darnit I only got to be one chapter

It's ok Roy, it'll be ok...

***eyes fill with tears* THANK YOU TO ALL WHO REVIEWED, I WILL BE DELETING THIS STORY NEXT WEEK,**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

***HUGS***

**Ok that's it then...**

**BYE**

Bye!

_**Bye!**_

Bye Guys!

THE END


	9. IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

**IT'S A MIRACLE GUYS! **

**We're not beaten yet! Oh no! There are still questions to ask and answers to give.**

**But how can this be?**

**I've posted a new forum on my account, called "Ask Ed" just go to my homepage and click on "My Forums" and it will lead you to the page. There you can ask Mr. Elric anything you like! **

Just when I thought I was free from this crap.

**Oh put a sock in it shrimp, the people love you.**

SHRIMP!

**So just go to the "Ask Ed" forum and type away! **

**SEE YA THERE**

**-Lili **and Ed


End file.
